Who Am I? Part 2

I’ve spent a lot of time in the last ten years getting to know myself. I am a bit of a personality test junkie. I love them all. I think these assessments are good at giving us some insights into who we are. It’s at least a starting place to greater discovery.

So in 2018 when my father said that I was the same person I had always been, it intrigued me. Are our personalities set at a young age? How much does our upbringing play a role in who we become? I had a follow-up conversation with my dad recently to ask him what he meant.

“Do you remember a few years ago saying that I am the same person I have always been?”

“I don’t remember it exactly, but it sounds like something I might say.”

“When you said that to me, I was a little offended by it. I thought, ‘I am not the same! And how would you know? You haven’t been around me much of my life.’”

Now, a little background here. My parents divorced when I was five. My mom, my two sisters, and I moved out of the home we had been living in with my father. I would see him a couple times a year after that — usually for a week in the summer and at Christmas. Occasionally a few other times during the year, but not much more than that.

So I ask him, “What did you mean when you said that I am the same person I have always been?”

“You were always the cuddle bug. You would get on the couch and talk to me. I always felt like I knew you better than your sisters.”

Dad begins to recount how we would get Doritos and Cheetos from the grocery store on special occasions. We called them “snackie-poos” and we would snuggle and enjoy them. This seemingly insignificant ritual stayed with both of us over the years. I remember it fondly.

“I’m glad there are things about you that are the same,” he says. “They are good things — like caring a lot.”

My stepmom who is on the phone too, chimes in, “You pour so much into everything. You nurture people.”

Dad continues: “So when I say ‘I see you as the same Jennie,’ those are the things I’m talking about.”

I guess being the same as I’ve always been is not such a bad thing.

I tell them both that I have had people refer to my doing things a certain way as “The Jennie Touch.” I guess that’s what they mean: my caring and putting my all into things. I don’t believe in doing things half-assed.

Dad adds, “And, you say, ‘Here I am. Take me or leave me.’”

Now this is an interesting addition to the conversation. I certainly want to think of myself as being a “take me or leave me” kind of person, but I don’t always feel I am. I mean there are certain things that I won’t budge on, but…

I guess I see what he means.